And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
