I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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