party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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