woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize