Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm like, not good at living.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
