similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
