I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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