I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
