Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize