Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
