After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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