I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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