I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
