I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A+ Viking dick
These tits shall not be calmed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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