Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
