Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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