my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
