At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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