I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize