and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
