and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
