girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
