that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize