Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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