sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize