i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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