so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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