I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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