What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
