My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
