i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize