Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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