some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
