went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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