I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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