that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
