My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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