Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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