All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
