no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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