Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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