No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
