I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
