considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize