This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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