I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
