These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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