I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
