i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
where am i from again
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
