dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
