You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
