Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
