If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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