Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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