lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and she was petting her beer can
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
