dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
