I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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