i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
