that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
