I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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