I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm jealous of your bromance
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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