wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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