Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
