No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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