Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
