I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
