My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
