The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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