I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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