sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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