Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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