**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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