do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
