Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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