well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize