I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
worst night to have a conscience
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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