Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
