I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
