I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I have post one night stand depression
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