But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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